Much of what we use consciously or sub-consciously to influence or persuade people around us doesn’t actually work. This is because more often than not influencing turns out to be some form of coercion. In some cases, it is winning the argument without winning over the person. Here are 3 things you can do in practical terms to become an effective influencer…
Ask Questions and Listen Attentively
Sales people the world over are taught a technique called SPIN that was developed based on research that the most successful salespeople tend to be those who ask more questions and who listen carefully. Listening attentively is not easy which is why most people feel they are not being listened too. Anyone who is a good listener is therefore guaranteed a measure of influence not available to others.
Help Others to Feel Good about Themselves
This is not about flattery – it is about sincere praise. It also does not mean you avoid offering direct feedback for improvement. In many cases, helping others to identify some unique quality they have is all that is needed. This could be pointing out a particular skill or a temperament that is suited to a particular situation.
Get to Know The Person
Building your influence is not just about dazzling others with your impeccable logic although this is important. What gets you more influence is building a relationship that creates trust.