It is a fact that very few people are fully present and engaged with the individuals they interact with. Have you not encountered situations where you have been conversing with someone and you notice that you do not really have their complete attention? Doesn’t that irk you? You may even remember situations where it was you who was guilty of not being fully engaged and present while someone else was talking to you…
The truth is that nothing annoys people more than someone who is pretending to listen but is obviously “not here” or not “present”. So in order for you to differentiate yourself in how you are perceived as a communicator, try being fully present with people and give them your complete attention.
When you think about the most charismatic people you have met, you might have thought these were people who were bragging about themselves. But think again – they are actually the people who made you feel good about yourself. The challenge you have, therefore, is to have interactions that make other people feel better about themselves.
Focusing your mental and emotional energy on someone as you interact is how you create that feeling of importance. People fundamentally want attention – they want to be recognized and acknowledged.
Conveying presence is a simple concept to grasp, but difficult to achieve. This is because you can’t fake it. To truly convey presence, you must actually be present. It takes energy and willpower and practice to focus all your attention on the person you’re with.
We all have a tendency to want to interrupt and respond to what the other person is saying. In fact, we start preparing our answers beforehand. One strategy to counter this is to simply wait for a few seconds before responding. The typical sequence of interaction might be as follows:
-The other person finishes the sentence
-Your facial expression acknowledges and reacts
-A couple of seconds pass, maybe the talker says some thing else
-You wait and then respond…
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